Once The Dinner Bell Rings

Two awesome 30 day memes have appeared near-simultaneously on my flist, and while they are both tempting, I don't really have the energy for them right now =( I don't have the energy for much of anything, lately. I've been feeling really lazy and unmotivated... I still don't have any ideas for the next class art assignment, I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do for NaNo, I can't get excited enough to tag with Spin anywhere at SC, and overall I just feel... blah.

I have a mid-quarter conference with one of my teachers tomorrow, and maybe he'll give me a bit of guidance on the matter. At least, I hope so, but nothing either of my teachers have done these last four weeks have really inspired much confidence in me. I did talk with an academic adviser about my options for next quarter, and she pointed out a decent number of programs to look into, but I still have five weeks to get through until then.

Meantime, I spent the last couple days watching Xiaolin Showdown as inspired by RP-based shenanigans. It was a goofy show, entertaining enough to eat up a couple lazy days. Jack really was the best part, I didn't really care for any of the other antagonists, and in seasons 2 and 3, where Jack's influence waned, so did my attention span. People just need more evil boy geniuses in their lives.

You know what's a really lousy feeling? Having this thing that you're really proud of, you think looks really great, and you're really hoping people will appreciate it and like it. And then putting it up, and no one cares. Not just like, bad reviews, but no one comments or seems to notice whatsoever. The realization that what you were really excited about and proud of is just utterly unnoteworthy to everyone else. And this happens several times, in a row.

I guess this is something most people go through, in one thing or another. And I should get used to it, and take advantage of it to cut my ego down. But it really feels like crap.

Dear Self:

You can't feel jealous of other people and bad about yourself and complain about not being as well-recognized or having as good feedback if you don't write anything.

Get the fuck over yourself.